TELLING friends you are nipping to the bar then getting a taxi home instead is the best part of going out, it has been confirmed.
Although getting pissed and dancing to Taylor Swift at a shit club seems like a great idea at the start of the night, slipping away before the Jäger-train part of the evening happens is actually far superior.
Tom Logan, 31, said: “When I was 19 I thought I’d had an evening equivalent to the opening of Studio 54 if I ended up vomiting White Lightning into a shop doorway at 2am.
“As I’ve got older, it has been hard to maintain these cripplingly low standards and I have turned into the sort of arsehole who wants to feel fresh in the morning so I can go for a run.
“I am the type of who tells everyone he’s well up for staying up all night and getting munted with my old friends Mandy and Charlie, even though I’m secretly planning my escape.
“Despite claiming to be a good friend, I have no issue with lying to my mates and calling an Uber, then waking up the next morning to 57 missed calls from them and a half eaten doner