A BOY about to begin secondary school is certain it will be like Hogwarts in the Harry Potter novels.
Tom Logan considers his new nation school will let him create delightful friends such as Hermione Granger and have thrilling experiences, possibly in key passages and chambers.
Harry Potter fan Logan, 11, said: “Obviously there will not be magical like at Hogwarts, but I am sure the general experience of visiting a large Northern comprehensive will be broadly the same.
“Once we’ve been placed into ‘homes’ such as Gryffindor and Hufflepuff we’ll all become best buddies and begin doing things such as exploring a ghost about the college grounds.
“There are certain to be some bad eggs such as Draco Malfoy, but I’ll only outwit them or win their respect by being so good at Quidditch.”
Headteacher Roy Hobbs said: “Tom will maintain course 1BW and should be fine provided that he does not show any excitement for learning.
“He will be put alphabetically next to Shane Lombard who is really a very bright lad, even though he chooses to be a disruptive little shit.
“We definitely have loads of adventures here, though. Last term there has been a 30-person fight behind the science block as well as the authorities came in riot vans.”